"That's Natalie" on Healthy/Unhealthy Relationships - Keeping it REAL
From the different levels of relationships I explored from Singleness to Divorce, it all comes down to one thing. Drum roll please.......Are you in a Healthy or Unhealthy relationship? What? Yes, this simple indicator is your guide to continue to walk the aisle, file for divorce or just remain single. Again, this is my opinion and I will stay as honest as possible without hurting anyone feelings. I will start with the one thing everyone has, but don't seem to use well, common sense.
Now, don't get me wrong, I made mistakes too. You can go back in my blogs and point it straight out. However, I learned and didn't repeat. Once you been burned, you don't want to experience it again. So back to common sense. If a man or woman treats you good and accepts you for you; that's a healthy relationship. If a man or woman calls you names, takes from you constantly and not give back or disrespect you; that's a bad relationship. Regardless of your sex, we all want to be loved and respected. If you aren't getting it, get out. You can't make a person change unless they want to. My aunt told me something powerful about men. She said, "If a man loves you more, they will stay to fight for you." Now, my dad told me something different. He said, "A man eats, craps, works, and sleeps. If he makes time for you within that schedule, he loves you." Both are right because of wisdom and plain common sense.
Next, I'm asking everyone to do this. Please stop making an unrealistic list of your dream woman or man. I had a list that was ridiculous. He had to have a body, be tall, have money, a large member, and the list went on and on. As I married and divorced, my list took a dramatic change. I woke up. I went from 60 plus to 3. My three things was as followed: Love God, Love himself and love others. Everything else was extra. The crazy thing was I got even more just off these 3 things. So love the person who you are with. People are funny because you see a couple and you may think they are perfect. Heck no! Even the best couple took hard work to get to that level. Yes, you have to work on a relationship. If you don't like the person, don't waste yours or their time. Just move forward and enjoy singleness till the next one comes around.
My last and most important news for having a wonderful relationship is love yourself. Yes, love comes from you first. If you don't love or like yourself how do you expect someone to love or like you back. We give out what we get back. If you tell God, Buddha, the Universe or whatever you believe that you don't want a relationship believe that it won't happen. You can't tell yourself I'm not ready or want a relationship, but want a relationship because you will be alone or get a crazy person. Honestly, where you are mentally or emotionally is what you attract. I experienced this personally. When I first got divorced and I was emotionally off, and that was the type of man I got. As I changed, they changed. When I finally was happy and content with myself, that's when my man came. So, be honest with where you're at because that's what you attract.
In closing, common sense, be reasonable and watch what you put out is powerful in having a great man or woman in your life. Remember that love starts with you. If you don't love or even like your own company don't expect someone to enjoy it either. Love is not hard and never be scared of it. The true fear is living without experiencing love at all. Don't give up and know in due time that it will come.